i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
