i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
