Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
