Can i not drive my cunt home
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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