so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
