He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
