So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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