It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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