Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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