I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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