she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
