I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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