I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
