I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
