It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
