the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He better not be in your backpack
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
