I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
