So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Randomize
