this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
