Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
