So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
