I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
When did angry sex become our thing?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
