dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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