I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
