but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
