Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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