I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
