turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
