At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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