If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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