then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
