im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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