Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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