He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
