You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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