I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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