Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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