Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I am available for nakedness
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
