Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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