Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
