put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
