Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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