Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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