I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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