DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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