the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
