I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Barsexuality is the new black.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
