I need help removing her.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
