i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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