3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
There's even glitter on my cock...
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