She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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