you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
