just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
