i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
